[28/01/2005 16:10:26] [From Rediff Blogs]
Stop behaving like child you are a big boy now! When will you understand your responsibilities? For heaven's sake, you are 19 now be a bit more sensible?
I am sure such questions have been posed to all of you by you parents, relative and many others over the years. I still at times get to hear this; I feel I have a long way to go before being called "Mr. mature”. It somehow is expected of you that by the time you are 18 you realize your duties and all the stuff. Nothing wrong with it though, it’s the way we monkeys (ya that’s what we all are) are supposed to grow form one phase to another.I can say fro myself I still am not sure if I have reached the expected level of maturity or even if am progressing towards being a more mature monkey but that is the last thing on my mind. My problem begins with the fact that what all we are turning into from what we were as kids. My problem is what all we lose to become the "complete man”. As we have grown we lose out on our innocence, we lose out on the child within us. We fear "fear”. I remember in my formative years I always did things that I really wanted to obviously I would give it my best shot, hence the success. The fear of failure never crossed my mind; I was playing because it was a passion for me to play not to get a medal or certificate. Sadly it's not so anymore. If u have ever seen a child (less than 1 yr old after that they use their brains and become monkeys) smile trust me you will never see a smile so true in its essence in your life. How things have changed over the years, now everything and anything is done because it's what will help you make a career. It will be good for your Cv do it.
The quest for materialistic success has led to a situation where the material possessions have become so important that every step one takes in life is governed by the fear of losing your money,family,friends,love everything. We are afraid of losing and we are losing. This battle for finding back the child in me will continue. There are times when the child in me comes back but then someone comes and steals it from me and I am the same old sensible monkey again.Well, till the time I see in the mirror a child smiling its Bananas, Please!