[13/01/2005 00:49:17] [From Rediff blogs]
F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

This is dedicated to all my friends from whom I have acquired all the qualities for which people love or hate me.I keep my friends as misers do their treasue, bcos, of all things granted to us by wisdom, none is greater than friendship.

Contrary to general belief that since childhood I have had a lot of friends I have always been a very reserved person and generally don't make friends easily. It somehow doesn't come naturally to me. I will always have a lot of people whom I will talk to and have time pass with but people I can bank upon are very few. I remember my childhood I was always the person who had a lot of people whom I would play cricket with and have a great time but never a friend I would call home and sit and play with.i was as comfortable playing across the street as I was playing alone at home in a make belief world of my own where I was everything from superman to Spiderman to super commando dhruv or just fooling around at home. I somehow never let the two worlds mix. I am still a completely different person when I am at home then when I am anywhere else and I have never bridged this gap actually I have never wanted to let the real me come out in front of this world infect the people who think they know me very well know only what I want them to know about me or perceive of me. But this didn't stop me from living by the belief that human connections need to be cherished in life. Mind you I still have friends from my school days who I will never forget and are perhaps they are my only link to those golden days.
Things though have changed over the last one and a half year for me as I came to this place. I suddenly found that the two worlds I had so successfully kept apart till then suddenly became one and it was happening to quickly for my comfort. As usual I found a lot of people I could talk to but this time there was a difference, these were the people I was now sharing my own world as well and I slowly found that perhaps it was not a bad idea to let the two worlds mix and have not only a good time with your friends but also to let them share your problems and I must admit I have found great friends here but there are times when I feel that perhaps I let go too much of myself and sadly I made a few mistakes along the way. I perhaps have found great friends but in my effort to prove myself to be deserving of their friendship and in the quest for their happiness I have become a source of trouble for them an irritation at times. I understand their point when the want to handle their problems alone and not share their concerns with me especially when they perhaps still are finding out the real me. I would just like to say that I have changed a lot since I have come here and in a way a lot of you are responsible for it. As I said in the beginning I have acquired my qualities from my friends love me or hate me.